The Scariest Things You Never Knew Were Scary


Having a one-year old, you figure out that there are some really scary things in this world. Here are some of the most terrifying things in the world, according to Ben.

  1. Cows. As adults, we think of cows as some of the most placid animals around. All they do is sit around and chew on their cud. No biggie. For Ben, cows are both thrilling and scary. They are thrilling because they are like giant dogs and you get to pet them. They are terrifying when they moo. Sure, “moo” is one of the quintessential animal sounds that every toddler must know. Live action “moos” are a different story. Terrifying.
  2. Vacuum cleaners. Vacuum cleaners are a perennial fear for small children and animals everywhere. What’s not to be afraid of? They make loud noises and suck up those Cheerios that you hid in the corner for later. Terrifying.
  3. Hand mixers/blenders/food processors. Like cows, hand-held, noisy small kitchen appliances are fascinating and frightening. They are fascinating in that they mix things up and make things different. They are frightening in the evil sounds that they make. However, holding the Spatula of Power makes everything a little better. The devil is in those machines. Terrifying.
  4. Showers. Ben loves baths and swimming pools. Put him in the shower, he is a screaming ball of shaking one-year old. I tried to show him that the shower head was like the faucet and that he could wash in the shower. No dice. It is an evil contraption in league with the hand mixer. SUPER terrifying.
  5. Goats. Goats are shifty. I don’t blame him for that fear.

4 responses »

  1. This made me laugh. I will never forget Kiera’s look of pure terror the first time we turned on the vacuum around her. It hadn’t occurred to us to warn her because Asher always LOVED the vacuum (although I do remember him running in and attacking the vacuum samurai style with the hose extender once – Hilarious.) Kiera used to be tentative about the blender as well, but is working through it – I think the reward of smoothies has won her over. She has always LOVED the shower though – if she hears the shower turn on she will come running in saying “shawa! shawa!” and trying to pull off her clothes..

    • Ben is working through his vacuum cleaner anxiety. If he touches it while it’s off, he thinks he’s the biggest big shot to ever walk the Earth. We’re really going to have to work on that shower phobia, though. I haven’t seen too many college dorms with bath tubs and foam letters.

  2. Definitely 3 out of 5 from my one-year old over here! Funny. We went to a petting zoo recently & I was really surprised to see how terrified he was of the goats! Your post makes me feel better because I thought all toddlers liked them!

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