T0 run or not to run? That is always the question when my little alarm clock buzzes at 4:03 a.m. (Yes, I’m weird and my alarm goes off at odd times). This morning, I chose “Not to run.” Usually, this is not the right choice. As a psych teacher, I like to think of my inner-conflicts as a Freudian battle between my id and my superego. I am a giant nerd. Whatever. Anyway, the internal conversations usually start with the id saying, “This bed is soooo cozy and warm. Do you really want to leave it?” The ego thinks, “That is a valid point. Being snuggly and warm is always a good thing.” The superego counters with, “You are going to be such a better person if you go for this run. Remember endorphins? You love endorphins. The people around you love you when you have endorphins.” To which, the id counters, “Is it really worth going for a run if it’s going to be cold and gross? You really hate cold and gross.”All valid points.
This inner conflict was raging when I got downstairs to my awaiting coffee (God bless you, coffee timer). I told myself that if the windchill was in the 40s, I’d go for a run. That way, I wouldn’t have to deal with layers and cold gear. In May, ain’t nobody got time for that. I looked at both weather services on my phone. Thirty-seven degrees. It’s May 14. On principle, I’m not running this morning. The id was triumphant. However, to appease that nagging superego, I did Pilates and planned to run this afternoon.
Most people would go back to bed. But, the dog was awake and giving me the, “I missed you so much! Please feed me.” face, so I had to oblige. The coffee was ready, and I’m at the end of a great book, so I stayed up. As I sat reading and drinking my coffee, a small boy started stirring upstairs. He wasn’t angry, he was just awake. Then, he let his inner songbird loose and began singing. There were snippets of “Old MacDonald”, but mostly it was his own compositions. Had I gone for a run, I would have missed the adorable concert. Unfortunately, the adorableness of 4:30 a.m. is going to turn into a ragebeast come 5:30 p.m., which is why I need to run after school to get the endorphins to manage said rage. See? It all works out! (Over-justification!)